It’s true. Even if you think that you are VERY SNAZZY, you are snazzier than you think you are. AND if you think you are not snazzy at all, it’s definitely true that you are snazzier than you think. I, in fact, am snazzier than I think I am right now.
Several years ago, one of my daughters was doubting herself – she had to try out for her place in the band on an instrument that she didn’t feel confident with. She was subtly and not-so-subtly beating herself up (it was almost audible, but just imperceptible). She was saying how she wasn’t good at the trumpet (hear the self-doubt?) and how everybody else was better than her (hear the comparison?) – she was convinced that she would go into the audition and be humiliated and ashamed. She didn’t think she could do it without perhaps vomiting.
It was then that I turned to her and said, “[Name], you’re snazzier than you think you are!” She looked at me and her eyes lit up and she started to smile. She said, “Really?” To which I responded that of course, really. Yes, really. You are clearly doubting yourself and you are obviously very snazzy. I’m not sure why, but in that moment, that was what she needed – she went into the audition and I don’t even know or remember how she did. But she STOPPED BEATING HERSELF UP. It wasn’t about the outcome of the audition. It was about not doubting herself.
If you had a child that was trying to learn an instrument, and they were struggling mightily with the scales on that instrument, would you a.) tell them that they are no good at the instrument and would be the laughing stock at the next recital or b.) tell them that you can’t get better without practicing and point something specific out that they have played very well? Again, if A is your answer, let’s get you some psycho-therapy ASAP.
You deserve to treat yourself JUST AS WELL as you treat that little child. Just because you grew up and got older doesn’t mean that you are suddenly not worthy of kindness and nice words. Sure, you can’t force others to be kind and nice to you, but you can DEFINITELY start by being kind and nice to your very own self. You don’t have control over others, but you do have control over you and you are MAGNIFICENT – and even when you think you have evidence that you are not very snazzy, trust me – you are snazzier than you think you are. You can’t think your way out of that one because it is true.
