It’s easy to struggle with the concept of forgiveness vs. being a doormat. And I envision three scenarios:
- You forgive someone who is hurling things at you and you stand there while they continue to hurl.
- You retaliate and start hurling things back at the person who is hurling things at you.
- You get a safe distance away from the hurled objects and the person hurling them, and then shout back toward them that you forgive them.
So, in essence, you protect and love yourself, love them, do NOT retaliate, and then don’t necessarily trust that your forgiveness has changed their heart. Don’t trust that this person in their current state will not do you more harm, if only inadvertently. They are seeing the world as a collection of illusions, and as such, they will need to shed some layers before being trusted. We see the good in them. And we also recognize that they thrash about as if in a dream. If a dreaming/sleepwalking person is fighting you as if you were an intruder in your own house, you can clearly see that they are good but they are in an altered state where they are believing an illusion, or a dream. You cannot typically awaken them, for in their dream state, they do not trust you. So, you are best to protect yourself even as you recognize their intrinsic goodness. Now take that altered state and extrapolate it to encompass an entire day, week, month, year, etc. At some point, even though you see good in them, you are also wise to move on, knowing they cannot be awakened. You must stop shaking them trying to startle them out of their trance – you are frightening them further. You grieve the loss of potential and you move on, focused on keeping your own eyes open. So that when that person awakens, you are open to receiving them. If, instead, you begin to fight them, then you are also in an illusion. And not open to truth. Give them space. It is not your job to awaken them from this dream.
