Whether you struggle to communicate with your team or your boss at work or with your own kids, you can learn the skills to start to improve your situations. And not only will you improve your own situation, but learning to communicate better has a ripple effect – you will also be setting an example of good communication for those around you.
As a scientist and engineer, I spent many years honing my analytical and technical skills. Along the way, I have also had countless opportunities to witness team interactions, customer interactions and workplace dynamics, not to mention family dynamics and social dynamics. I have both been on teams, led teams and been in a position to lead my own children. I have watched learned communication make the difference between successful interactions and failed interactions. I have succeeded and I have failed.
Mastery of the soft skills required to communicate clearly, listen to understand, and build relationships with others is often undervalued and misunderstood. Therefore, these skills are seldom taught.
As a student and now a teacher of communication, I have witnessed intelligent, amazing people who know their content forwards and backwards fall short when it comes to simple communication basics both with their teams and with their colleagues. I have witnessed well-intentioned people damaging familial and personal relationships through their misguided attempts to communicate or avoid communication.
Miscommunications often result in conflict and even in ruptured relationships.
The stories we tell ourselves both about ourselves and the people around us impact every single interaction we have with others, whether it be customers or colleagues, friends or family. Transforming these stories can lead to healthier interactions and clearer communication.
Listening to understand is different than simply hearing words.
Listening to understand requires a careful look at what assumptions you bring into the dialogue. Once you recognize the assumptions, you can work to clarify them, or even fully transform the beliefs that seeded those assumptions.
This clears the way for more authentic, more vibrant, more productive conversations.
