I used to ride in the car with a close friend who always got frustrated while driving. Every time he tried to merge into another lane, he’d grow visibly and audibly annoyed that no one would let him in. His frustration would often morph into downright road rage.

But as I sat there observing, I noticed something: he never used his blinker.

It was as if he expected the drivers around him to magically know what he wanted to do. Sure, sometimes it might have been obvious—maybe when his merge lane was ending and all the cars had to blend into a single lane—but not always. And when I suggested he try signaling his intentions, his response was, “What’s the point? No one’s going to let me in anyway.”

So, he kept driving without signaling, stuck in his frustration, and convinced that the other drivers were the problem.

This whole scenario stuck with me because it mirrors so many situations in life. How often do we expect others to know what we want or need—without actually saying anything?

I’ll admit, I’ve done this myself. I’ve wanted more support around the house, but instead of asking directly, I’d just hope my frustration would somehow be noticed. Or, early in my career, I assumed my hard work would eventually get me noticed for a promotion. I thought asking might make me seem pushy, so I stayed silent and just… waited.

Even as a leader, it doesn’t work to have uncommunicated expectations.

A strong team isn’t built on assumptions. If you expect a certain level of accountability, initiative, or collaboration, you need to make that clear. Otherwise, you risk frustration—not just for yourself but for your team, who may not even realize they’re falling short of expectations.

Think about it: Have you ever worked for a leader who got frustrated when people didn’t step up, but never actually articulated what “stepping up” looked like? It creates an environment of uncertainty, hesitation, and missed potential. People can’t meet expectations they don’t know exist.

Here’s what I’ve learned: silence breeds frustration and unmet needs.

Want your partner to help more with cleaning? Communicate that. Want a raise or to take on a leadership role at work? Talk to your manager about it. Want your team to take more ownership? Lay out what that looks like in clear terms.

Staying quiet doesn’t make those needs disappear—it just adds resentment into the mix.

Sure, it can be scary to signal your intentions. What if people don’t respond the way you hope? What if, like my friend feared, they block you from merging instead of making space?

That is indeed a real risk. But in my experience, that’s not what usually happens. Often when I’ve signaled my intentions—whether it was stating a need, asking for help, or sharing a bold career goal—I’ve been surprised by how many people were willing to “let me in.”

Often, people are far more generous and supportive than we assume they’ll be.

And as a leader, I’ve seen how much more effective and empowered a team becomes when they know exactly what’s expected of them. When they have clarity, they don’t have to hesitate or second-guess. They can step up with confidence.

So, ask for that raise. Have that difficult conversation with your partner. Make your expectations clear to your team. Apply for the opportunity that feels just out of reach.

You might not get everything you ask for, but one thing is certain: you won’t get it if you don’t signal your intentions—and your expectations.